IT projects are like long road trips—you start off excited and full of plans, but by the time you near the destination, everyone’s grumpy, questioning their life choices, and wondering why they ever agreed to this in the first place. The Steering Committee meetings are the project’s checkpoints, where everyone pretends to be in control while secretly clinging to the edge of their sanity. Here’s how it typically unfolds:
1st Steering Committee: The Honeymoon Phase
Mood: Optimistic, full of buzzwords, and aggressively overconfident.
Attendees: Business Owner (radiating authority), Functional Heads (smiling, for now), IT Head (neutral, but suspicious), Key Users (taking notes because they were told to), and our team (selling dreams).
The meeting opens with a grand vision statement:
Business Owner: “This project will revolutionize how we operate. We’re building a system for the next 20 years!”
The Cynic Upstairs: Hopefully not the next 20 years of implementing it.
Our presentation dazzles with slides showing timelines, deliverables, and KPIs.
Me: “Phase 1 will go live in six months. It’s aggressive, but achievable.”
Finance Head: “Perfect. No delays, right?”
Me: “Not if everyone stays aligned and committed.”
The Cynic Upstairs: Famous last words.
Sales Head: “Will we get dashboards by Phase 1?”
Me: “Yes, basic ones.”
Sales Head: “And predictive analytics?”
Me: “In Phase 2.”
The Cynic Upstairs: And Phase 2 is code for never.
Outcome: Everyone leaves feeling confident and energized, unaware of the storm brewing in the distance.
2nd Steering Committee: The First Cracks Appear
Mood: Slightly tense, but still polite. The buzzwords are fewer, and the skepticism is creeping in.
The Business Owner opens the meeting with:
Business Owner: “We’ve been hearing some concerns about delays in testing.”
Me: “There were some minor hiccups, but nothing alarming.”
The Cynic Upstairs: Minor? The test environment crashed harder than their coffee machine during peak hours.
Operations Head: “The inventory module isn’t capturing real-time data.”
IT Head: “Because the warehouse team isn’t updating it on time.”
Warehouse Manager (from the back): “We weren’t trained properly!”
Me: “We’ll revisit the training schedule.”
The Cynic Upstairs: Revisit is consultant-speak for stall while we figure this out.
Outcome: The Functional Heads start to bicker, IT blames everyone else, and we smile reassuringly while mentally drafting a list of excuses for the next meeting.
3rd Steering Committee: The Blame Game Begins
Mood: The gloves are off. Everyone is frustrated, and the cracks are now gaping chasms.
The Business Owner opens with a sharp tone:
Business Owner: “This project is falling behind schedule. Why?”
Me: “We’ve faced some challenges with data migration.”
Finance Head: “We submitted our data weeks ago!”
IT Head: “Yes, but the formatting was all wrong.”
Finance Analyst: “You didn’t specify the format!”
The Cynic Upstairs: ERP projects: where even Excel becomes a weapon.
Sales Head: “And what about CRM? It’s not even configured yet.”
Me: “That’s part of Phase 2.”
Sales Head: “So, it’s delayed?”
The Cynic Upstairs: No, it’s on time. In the alternate universe where we didn’t sign this project.
Outcome: Tempers flare, trust erodes, and the meeting ends with the Business Owner demanding a detailed action plan. We nod and promise swift resolutions while the Cynic Upstairs whispers, “Good luck with that.”
4th Steering Committee: Full-Blown Chaos
Mood: Utter mayhem. Everyone is either shouting, sulking, or plotting revenge.
Business Owner: “This project is officially off track.”
Me: “We’re still working toward the revised timeline.”
Finance Head: “Revised? When did we agree to that?”
Me: “In the weekly progress updates.”
Finance Head: “No one reads those!”
Sales Head: “We’re missing features that were promised.”
Me: “Can you clarify which ones?”
Sales Head: “All of them!”
Operations Head: “Inventory discrepancies are worse than before!”
IT Head: “Because no one is using the system properly.”
Warehouse Manager: “Because it’s not user-friendly!”
The Cynic Upstairs: It’s like a corporate version of Survivor.
Outcome: Everyone leaves angry, and the Business Owner schedules a follow-up “emergency meeting” that everyone already dreads.
Pre-Go-Live Steering Committee: The Meltdown
Mood: Sheer panic. Go-live is looming, and the project feels like a train hurtling toward a broken bridge.
Business Owner: “Are we ready for go-live?”
Me: “Almost. Just a few minor issues to resolve.”
The Cynic Upstairs: Minor issues, like the fact that half the system isn’t working.
Finance Head: “Have all the reports been tested?”
Me: “The critical ones, yes.”
Finance Head: “What about the non-critical ones?”
Me: “Those will be finalized post-go-live.”
Finance Head: “How are we supposed to operate without them?”
Sales Head: “Is CRM ready?”
Me: “It’s part of Phase 2.”
Sales Head: “That’s what you said in the 1st meeting!”
Operations Head: “What about inventory tracking?”
Me: “It’s functional, but we’re still calibrating the real-time updates.”
Warehouse Manager: “So, it’s not working.”
The Cynic Upstairs: Working? Define working.
Outcome: The meeting descends into chaos, with everyone talking over each other. The Business Owner storms out, and we quietly start drafting a “Go-Live Survival Guide.”
The Takeaway
Steering Committees start as hopeful gatherings of collaboration and end as battlegrounds of frustration. By the time go-live rolls around, everyone is questioning their life choices and wondering if they should’ve just stuck with Excel.
The Cynic Upstairs: So, what’s the moral of the story?
Me: That IT projects aren’t for the faint-hearted.
The Cynic Upstairs: And your hair?
Me: Still perfect. Unlike this project timeline.
And with that, we brace for go-live. For now.